goodnight

11:00 pm
i dont want to go to bed and wake up to go to work tomorrow on pay day weekend. so here i am. im hopping that this will make life a bit more interesting and better while i make my way through the next 8ish months here in England and then were packing up and moving back home.
i need a new start. i need to stick with it. i need the reality of moving back home to sink in. i dont want to go home as the person i am now. as much as i wish i could just slip back into my old self from three yesrs ago, i know that i cant. i fear not fitting in at all. everyone as moved on with there lives where as i feel that i have had mine on hold.
since i can hardly hold my eyes open a moment longer. i am going to fall asleep to my classical radio station, and hope that my neighbor lady will stop smoking.... it drifts into my bedroom window... cough cough
goodnight
elsa