We eat all the bad stuff too. Snacks, frozen foods, fast food, all the easy stuff to cook. We both have gained so much weight. Its spiraling out of control.
It needs to stop. But its become an addiction. We both give in to food, it just tastes too good.
But after we eat, we feel sick. Some times we'll feel sick for days after.
I feel like we are always on a diet. We just mess up and have to start over. Ryan and I are probably each others problems. Either one of us screw up and then cause the other one to join or we both give in together. And when we start eating bad its hard to stop. We probably spend so much money just on eating crappy foods.
I don't think it helps that I work at the grocery store and see everyone buying all their junk food. I think to myself "oh that looks good ill get that after work" and I do. Then I eat it after work. I have no self control.
I have managed to stick with it once. Ryan went home for a month his past January. While he was gone it was just me. I was able to stick with my diet and workout. I lost 12 pounds. It was very noticeable, I felt great. I bet that if I had kept it up I'd be close to where I want to be now. It makes me so sick thinking about how bad I have screwed that up.
I started over again recently. I wasn't doing my best but it was a good start. Then it was like I fell off the deep end last week. After working 52 hours (12 hours over my normal week) it was like food was the only thing that would make me happy and feel better again. And it does for a little bit and then by Sunday I felt so sick.
I don't know how to regain control again. I just keep going back. And each time I screw up... it takes me a step back. Early last week I lost 1 pound .... by the end of the week I gained 2. I hate that I do this. I dont want to be this person anymore.
ughhhh enough of me rambling about this... it just makes me unhappy.
so this week I only have one goal....
001. Get back on track
All I want to do is get back on track and stay with it
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